SOMEBODY GIVE ME A RUSTY SPORK!

I need to gouge out my eyes. I had a free ticket, so I went to see “The Fourth Kind”, so you don’t have to. Let me go ahead and tell you-

SPOILER ALERT

Ok, the movie starts out, pretty much like the preview, found here, where Milla Jovovich comes up, introduces herself, and what she’s doing. It then goes to the interview with Abigal Taylor, the person she portrays in the movie. You can (almost) see her face in the trailer, but in the movie, her face isn’t digitally altered. Let me just insert here, when you first see her, the first thing that pops into  your mind is “she LOOKS like a gray!”.

Well, then, it starts the actual “reenactment“. Taylor is being hypotherapied. (is that even a word?). She’s told to go back to the day her husband was killed. While under hypnosis, she watches her husband get stabbed in the chest. She’s told to look at the face of the murderer, but she can’t see it. (!) Once she comes out, they jump back to a session where she is talking to one of her patients. The camera starts swaying back and forth, between her patient and Taylor. Each patient is different. She asks them a question, about an owl outside their window. Each patient talks about seeing an owl every night this week. They wake up in the middle of the night, and the owl is just there. It just looks at them, and never leaves. One man, Tommy (alias) is asked to return the next day.

The next day, he’s put under hypnosis, and recounts the last time the owl stared at him. (Parts of the filming of this session are shown in split screen format)He starts flipping out, terrified of the owl. (ITS NOT AN OWL!) When she presses him for more information. He asks if they can talk about this next time.

Later that night, a 911 call is recorded. A man with a gun. Tommy (alias) has taken his whole family hostage. He won’t talk to anyone except Dr. Taylor. She gets called in the middle of the night, and comes over. After a makeshift session attempt fails, Tommy (alias) tells Abigal that they will never have to see the things that weren’t owls again. He then shoots his wife, children, and himself. (This is shown from the police video. Certain shots are censored.)

The sherrif (alias) then makes serious accusations against Dr. Taylor and her relation to this incident. She makes a recording about her thoughts, and goes to bed.

The next day, she tells her assistant to transcribe the tape from the previous evening. Another patient is waiting for her, Bobby(alias) and his wife. They ask to put him under. Dr. Taylor brings in a peer, and the two doctors and the wife watch as the session is filmed. (Parts of the filmed session are shown.) Again, he talks about how it’s not an owl. He starts freaking out, with gurgling noises. Once he comes to, the first thing he does is run to the corner and barf. (sexy) The assistant comes in, and is in a panic. The tape she was transcribing was disturbing. So, Dr. Taylor and the other doctor listen to it. After what was shown earlier, it sounds like Taylor goes to sleep, and forgets to shut off the recorder. After a few moments, she starts the blood curtling screams, and this weird voice talks in this weird language.

Later that night, she’s looking through her husbands stuff. There’s a post-it in a book about sumerians. She calls the number on the phone. The man at the other end, whose name I’m not going to try to spell, tells her of the sumerians, and their pictures that look like men in oxygen masks and spaceships that look like Apollo. He comes up to Nome, where he listens to the tape. Its sumerian. He can’t make it all out, but he picks out “creation”, “examination”, and “ruin/destroy”. She gets a call, and the wife of Bobby(alias) is on the phone. She rushes over to Bobby’s (alias) house to find him in bed. He’s having a panic attack. There are thoughts in his head, that he can’t remember, but can’t get out. He agrees to go under, and gets filmed. During this session, he begins to levitate, and the film begins to cut out. A voice similar to the voice on Taylor’s recording begins to talk in English. Something about ending a test(?). Later, Taylor decides she needs to go to North Carolina. The police come, and try to arrest her. Bobby now has a broken neck. Her fellow doctor protests, and she’s put under 24 hour survalance, house arrest.

That night, a police SUV is parked out there, facing the house. Around 3:00 AM, he gets out, and reports what he sees. He’s calling for backup. His dashboard camera craps out. When the sherrif (alias) gets there, Taylor’s daughter is missing. Taylor claims a light came and took the child. The sherrif (alias) orders her son removed.

The next night, her Doctor friend puts Taylor under hypnosis, to try to remember what happened to the daughter. The sumerian expert is there also. While under, she begins to levitate, and a voice is heard, in both english and sumerian. In english, it claims to be god. Again, the camera begins to crap out. All of a sudden, you hear an “Oh, my god, what is that?” and the camera falls to the floor. It starts playing properly again.

She wakes up, in the hospital. The sheriff (alias) is there, with some disturbing information. He shows her a picture of her husband’s face, with a bullet hole in his temple, and the gun he used to shoot himself.

END SPOILER ALERT

Now, I’m not going to criticize the acting, but the overall feeling of the movie had me expecting Robert Stack to come out at any moment. The heavy use of split screen made it hard to focus on anything.

First and foremost, hypnosis is notoriously unreliable. If this were 1985, then, ok, I’d accept that. Additionally, what authenticity does the movie bring to the table? Well, the counter is running. I’m sorry, but a halfway descent filming crew or sfx person could do that on a home camera. All the times we needed to see what was going on back on the home camera, the stuff “acted up”. I can’t say if this is from the acual events, or if this was done in postproduction. Personally, I’m leaning towards the latter. Finally, has anyone ever heard of night terrors? They are kinda like nightmares, only suped up on crack. “The owl” could easily explain that. One bit that I just find hard to swallow is these “aliens” are speaking…sumerian? The oldest and deadest of the old, dead languages? That’s pushing it. Finally, there was a story arc about the murderer of her husband. He was stabbed in the chest. But it turns out, he committed suicide. A gunshot to the temple. Really! Did no one bother to look a the body after he died? While I’m no forensic investigator, I’m willing to place a large sum of money on the face that a stake to the heart has many dissimilarities to a gunshot to the head, not the least of which is a whole in the head, versus a stick in the chest. I think they are different enough that the untrained eye could tell them apart. And finally, the sherrif. There was not one iota of evidence linking Dr. Taylor to any “crime”, other than  the weakest of circumstantial. That is by far, not enough to arrest, let alone imprison under house arrest, someone. And a girl went missing, but no one bothered to sit down the the police officer who was supposed to be watching the house, and ask him what he saw. There was no evidence the children were in any danger. This felt like a “lets end this quick” move. While I prefer that to something long and drawn out, make it believable.

I would like to give them props though. In a flashback, the “aliens” come, and instead of being your classic grays, they are these shadowy figures, like the dogs of hell from Ghost. And, they kept showing a white owl, in a very…creepy fashion.

My final review: (scores out of 5)

Science: 0

Suspense: 4

Drama:1

Action: 2

Don’t see it, not unless you feel sight is SO overrated. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to gouge out my eyes now.

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One Response to “SOMEBODY GIVE ME A RUSTY SPORK!”

  1. joshuaz1 Says:

    I suspect the Sumerian thing is coming from the influence of Stargate and other similar media in the last few years.

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